Hurtling Toward the Void

I'm pretty sure there's spit in my food

• Server: What can I get you to drink?
• Me: What kind of soda do you have?
• Server: We have Coke products.
• Me: Meaning products of the Coca-Cola Company?
• Server: Um. Yes.
• Me: Do you carry all of their products?
• Server: I ... don't know. We have Coke, Diet Coke and Sprite.
• Me: So just those three?
• Server: Yes.
• Me: So no Pibb?
• Server: No, sir.
• Me: No Mello Yello?
• Server: No.
• Me: Because, you know, those are both products of the Coca-Cola Company.
• Server: I ... guess, but ...
• Me: No, they are.
• Server: OK. Well, we don't have those.
• Me: No Barq's root beer?
• Server: No.
• Me: Cherry Coke?
• Server: [heavy sigh] No.
• Me: Dr. Pepper? Surge? Fresca?
• Server: ...
• Me: So just the Coke, the Diet Coke and the Sprite, then?
• Server: Yes.
• Me: So, really, what you have is a small sampling of the full range of Coca-Cola products.
• Server: ...
• Me: ...
• Server: What can I get for you to drink?
• Me: I'll have an iced tea.

64 notes