September 2011
11 posts
There's no need to fear; Underdog is here!
Fans of other playoff baseball teams are making a case for you to support their colors, so I’ll make mine. It’s quite simple, really:
Total payroll of 2011 MLB playoff teams New York Yankees $202,689,028 Philadelphia Phillies $172,976,379 Detroit Tigers $105,700,231 St. Louis Cardinals $105,433,572 Texas Rangers $92,299,264 Milwaukee Brewers $85,497,333 Arizona Diamondbacks...
Queasy like Sunday morning
Dog’s sick. Woke me up four times in the night to go outside.
Actually, that’s not true. He only woke me up once. I never fell back asleep after the first one.
It’s maddening, and not just because I’d rather be sleeping. You wouldn’t believe how fickle the little bastard can be about when and where he’ll take a shit.
Not there. Not there. Not there. Not...
“I feel like I’m talking about myself too much.”
– My girlfriend, while writing a cover letter to a potential employer
Unemployment: Day 100
I’m sitting on the couch (+2 comfort)
drinking a beer (+2 courage)
while drafting cover letters (+2 literacy)
on my iPad (+2 tech-savvy)
to make myself sound ideally suited (+2 cunning)
for jobs I don’t even want (-500 self-respect).
Regarding your Starbucks meme
Like every other social media lemming, I downloaded Foursquare in the summer of 2009 and started using it regularly that fall. Two years later, I still haven’t unlocked the Barista badge, which you get for visiting five different Starbucks locations.
I am inordinately proud of this fact.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-9-11) →
Zeus (14)
Radiohead (12)
Fight Like Apes (4)
The Beta Band (4)
The Apples in Stereo (4)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
On snake oil and elbow grease
Remember way back when someone finally convinced you to make the switch from Windows to Mac? Go ahead and throw away the Advil, they said. Headaches will be a thing of the past. Everything just works! It’s like magic! You just open the box and turn the thing on and away you go! Never again will you waste an entire day trying to get one device to talk to the other. Just put them in a room...
Attention, passengers
In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device.
In the event of a shallow water landing, your tray table may be used as a skimboard.
In the event of a school lunchroom landing, your bag of peanuts may be used in a food fight.
In the event of a Portland, Ore., landing, your seatbelt may be used as a fashion accessory.
In the event of a rich fantasy...